A Year of Change

2010 is almost gone, and I have taken part in all the "must do's" on this New Year's Eve. I've watched a movie with my babies; I've sipped pink champagne; and I've set off fireworks (and managed not to burn the house down or blow off a limb!)

It's been a very eventful year. Some parts were really, really bad. Others were really, really good. There were days when all I wanted to do was curl up in a ball in bed and not move for a month. There were other days that nothing short of the end of the world would have caused me to come down off my high.

All of these events led to some significant changes in me and my life. I'm stronger now than I was in January. Gaining this strength was not easy or painless. I coped with significant losses that, honestly, I did not feel I would ever be able to overcome. And, keeping in the honest mode, I haven't yet fully healed from some of the wounds I received during 2010.

But--and this is where you might consider me insane--I'm glad. I'm glad for the hurt, because it means I know what it is to feel. I'm glad for the losses, because I'm now free to start anew. I'm glad for the really, really bad days, because I'm able to truly appreciate the really, really good ones.

2011 is quickly approaching, and, although I'll have the list of New Year's resolutions like most everyone else, that won't be my focus for the new year. My focus will be on those I love--my Lord, my babies, my family and my friends--and on my new reality. My life is my life. My mistakes are my mistakes. My triumphs are my triumphs.

It's up to me now, so look out 2011!

“We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year's Day.”



                                           ~Edith Lovejoy Pierce

Top Ten Nicknames of 2010

If anyone has met me for more than 30 seconds, he or she knows I tend to nickname folks. And, in my defense, it's not just me; because, honestly, what fun would a nickname be if others don't know it?

So, here is my top ten list of most used nicknames during the year of 2010, in no particular order.

1) BP
2) The Warden
3) FL
4) BFF
5) Distraction (recent, yet frequently used, addition to the list)
6) Old Man
7) Jaw Pain
8) The Girls
9) Dips*&% (used with the over 21 crowd)
10) Twit (Okay, this one pretty much applied to any of my kids that were acting up. It fit them all!)

Of all eloquence a nickname is the most concise; of all arguments the most unanswerable.”



                                                    ~William Hazlitt

Words from a Great Philosopher--Take Two

If the person you are talking to doesn't appear to be listening, be patient. It may simply be that he has a small piece of fluff in his ear.



                                               ~Winnie the Pooh
                                                                            Pooh's Little Instruction Book

Laughter Is the Best Medicine

I've caught the plague.

Okay, so maybe I'm being a wee bit melodramatic. I've caught the flu from my little girl. Although I love her sharing nature, in this case, I would have been fine if she kept it all to herself.

Now, I'm pretty good as a patient. Mainly because I spend A LOT of time on the phone with those I love. Anyone that I will call when I'm sick knows how to make me laugh and feel good even through muscle aches and chills. And I know that they love me when they will talk to me for hours on end just to cheer me up (in between naps and taking care of my baby, of course.)

Thank you for taking my mind off the ick!

“Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator; but among those whom I love, I can: all of them can make me laugh.”




                                                         ~W. H. Auden

Lord Be With Me!

Short and sweet update.

My baby girl has the flu. This was confirmed after a four hour wait at the doc-in-the-box.

My refrigerator's defrost cycle and ice maker have both gone kaplooey. I am currently attempting to fix the problems by various means including blow drying the frost off the back of my freezer and removing parts.

My son is making up his own soup recipe and cooking dinner tonight.

Dear Lord, please keep me from dying of the plague, electrocution or poisoning. Amen.

If all else fails, immortality can always be assured by spectacular error. 
                                   ~John Kenneth Galbraith

The Greatest Present Ever!

In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire Roman world. (This was the first census that took place while Quirinius was governor of Syria.) And everyone went to his own town to register.



So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David. He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child. While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn.


And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger."


Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying, "Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests."


When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, "Let's go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about."


So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told.
                                                                                        ~Luke 2: 1-20

Wishing everyone a very Merry Christmas. May the joy of the season be upon you!



An angel to watch over you, MAU!



                     Love,

                                                                                         

                              Christie

Baby, Baby, Baby, Oooooh!

It happened. Despite my best attempts for the longest time, I was indoctrinated into the Bieber Fever Fan Club.

As an early Christmas gift, I took my 7 (and a half, as she will be quick to point out) year old daughter to see Justin Bieber in concert last night. She was decked out from head-to-toe in appropriate Bieber attire, looking quite the part of adoring fan. Mom, having received word through the grapevine that the paternal escorts were to dress up for such great events, remained in a quandary as to what to wear up to the very last second. Going for the split-the-difference plan, I went with jeans with heels. This appeared to be an acceptable choice from a casual visual survey of the other moms in attendance. (It appeared the dads felt none of the same pressure to be dressed appropriately, but that's a whole different blog.)

After some anxiety causing delays (a wreck on the interstate), and some, um, intense driving (Thank you, God, for having the state troopers somewhere else!) we made it to the concert while the opening act was still on-stage. Meeting up with my friend and her daughter, those under the age of 10 were soon dancing and singing. Mommas were left grinning from ear to ear.

My heart-melting moment came towards the end of the concert. My daughter turned to me with this serious, sincere look, hugs me, and says, "Thank you Momma!" Yep! That was the look that will win my heart over and over again. It was SO worth the hearing loss and sleep deprivation.

Baby, baby, baby, oh

Like baby, baby, baby, no

Like baby, baby, baby, oh

I thought you'd always be mine, mine

For you, I would have done whatever

And I just can't believe we're here together

And I wanna play it cool, but I'm losin' you

I'll buy you anything, I'll buy you any ring

And I'm in pieces, baby fix me

And just shake me 'til you wake me from this bad dream

I'm goin' down, down, down, down

And I just can't believe my first love won't be around

Appreciation

Have I mentioned lately how much I appreciate my friends? You talk about wonderful, amazing, incredible people! I would have to say I am one of the most fortunate women in the world.

My best friend Hannah rolled into town yesterday to work on some home projects. Afterwards, we were able to go out and just have some "girl time," which was great. In addition, we met up with some old friends, and I was able to make some new ones.

I'm so thankful for my life!

True friendship multiplies the good in life and divides its evils. Strive to have friends, for life without friends is like life on a desert island..to find one real friend in a lifetime is good fortune; to keep him is a blessing.”



                                      ~Baltasar Gracian

My Apologies

I want to apologize for my little outburst on yesterday's blog. Not that I didn't mean every word of it, or that I recant the sentiment. I apologize because I like to be positive even under negative circumstances, and yesterday I wasn't.

The good news is, my positive is back! First, Hannah is rolling into town tonight so we can go out with some old friends. Second, during her stay, she's going with me to look at bling! It will be a few months before I'll actually GET the bling and be able to wear it around, but I'm going to have a blast picking it out! Finally, I was able to spend a fantastic day with my baby bro and his fiancee along with my family and some of her family.

Yep! I found my positive!

“There is little difference in people, but that little difference makes a big difference. That little difference is attitude. The big difference is whether it is positive or negative.”



                                                  ~Robert Collier

GROW UP!

I'm done. If you want to read my blog, read it. Stop stalking me through a proxy server thinking you are fooling anyone. You aren't.  And it just angers me that A) you think I'm stupid enough not to figure it out and B) you keep lying to me. GROW UP!


“No man has a good enough memory to make a successful liar.”



                                         ~Abraham Lincoln

Thank You!

Have you ever received a "thank you" from someone that made you feel like YOU were the one who should be giving thanks?

This week has just been amazing for me in that way, and I'm sure that has been a significant part of my happy mood of late. First, I received praise from someone whom I admire and respect at my place of employment. Then, I had one of my work kids state she wanted a caseworker just like me from the other agency with whom she works. Following that, today, one of my work kids and her therapist purchased me a bracelet and earrings for a Christmas gift. And then, to wrap up the day, one of my other work babies drew me a picture with "#1 caseworker ever!" written across the bottom.

There are just some days you couldn't ask for more! Thank you all so very much!

"You are the greatest gift I have ever received. The love you show me is great and far more than I could ask for in my life."

DANG!!!!

I was happy today. Not just a "It's a nice day." type happy. I was almost giddy.

It's been a very long time since I've felt as happy, and I must say, I've missed it. I've been smiling and laughing and talking (Okay, no shock there.) all day long to anyone and everyone. I guess today I was realizing how much I love those in my life, and the blessing these people--my friends, my family, and my almost family--are to me!

My life isn't perfect. Far from it. But it's pretty dang great, imperfect and all!


“We've got to learn hard things in our lifetime, but it's love that gives you the strength. It's being nice to people and having a lot of fun and laughing harder than anything, hopefully every single day of your life.”

                                         ~ Drew Barrymore

“When you express your gratitude, you will bring joy to others’ lives. When others know joy, your life will be filled with happiness.”


                                         ~ Arthur Dobrin

Words from a Great Philosopher

Did you ever stop to think, and forget to start again?



                                     ~Winnie the Pooh

Mustang Sally!

I'm so excited! I just found out I'm going to have a Mustang parked in my driveway very soon! I'm more than a little excited that the driver will be there too!

“Every parting is a form of death, as every reunion is a type of heaven.”



                                       ~Tryon Edwards

In a Hurry

There is a song by the band Alabama called "I'm in a Hurry (and I Don't Know Why.) It first came out when I was in college, and I remember cranking the radio up at work to listen to it. During that time, I just knew I had the craziest schedule between classes and my part-time job. I really wish I could go back in time and Gibbs-slap myself.

Each year I think things will calm down, or I'd at least become more organized. Nah! Things to do and places to be just seem to multiply, and my organizational skills just never seem to catch up. I could let this make me crazy. Instead, I try to remember a few facts.

1) All housework will be there tomorrow. If my babies need me, they will have me, laundry be damned.
2) Tomorrow really is another day. Short of the trumpets blaring and angels descending, there always will be additional time to accomplish most of what I want to do.
3) God first, family second, work third. If everything stays in this order, I should be good to go.
4) Life is a gift meant to be enjoyed. I won't foolishly waste this gift being stressed 24/7.

There ARE times when I forget these simple facts. But, luckily, I've become really good at mentally Gibbs- slapping myself back to reality!

I'm in a hurry to get things done

Oh I rush and rush until life's no fun

All I really got to do is live and die

But I'm in a hurry and don't know why.

                ~Alabama

Surviving

***SARCASM ALERT***SARCASM ALERT***SARCASM ALERT***SARCASM ALERT***

In a desperate attempt to survive my "long and lonely life," I found two random strangers with whom to spend a Friday night. If only I could have had some fun!

Whitney--The hardest working "non-working" mother I know. Student, volunteer, mother, wife, daughter, sister and friend. Oh! and she's selling her house too! She just might be a little stressed!

Robin--One of the best friends any woman could want. Funny, intelligent, loving, sympathetic and decidedly evil when the need arises. The perfect soul to have in your corner!

The three of us eating some Italian goodies!



Always good having another psych major as a friend! Cuts down on therapy costs!




Even better when you have a social work major as a friend too! Her definition of bizarre and mine are the same!



Okay, apparently double-dog dares still work with me. Random cute little boy at the bar. Very nice, and I felt VERY old! (Left with Whitney and Robin, just so everyone knows!)



"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." ~ Bernard Meltzer

Good Morning Sunshine!

There are days when I become nostalgic for parts of my childhood, especially during this time of the year. Memories of favorite t.v. shows, games and trips circle in my mind like a carousel; and some of these memories make it into my contemporary life.

For instance, I have always sung the song, "Good Morning Sunshine" to my kids in the morning. This was the intro to the Captain Kangaroo t.v. show on PBS, a favorite in my young days. The song is the only part of Captain Kangaroo my kids will ever know, though, as the show was long gone before they were even a glimmer in my eye.

It makes me wonder, what part of me will people remember when in a nostalgic mood and I'm long gone?  Who knows? All I do know is that I will strive always to be the best person I can be, and in this way, I hope to produce the best memories for those I love!

“Nostalgia: A device that removes the ruts and potholes from memory lane.”



                                                         ~Doug Larson

A New Reality

So, I'm officially single again.

This wasn't how I planned out my life. Trust me. I was planning on rocking chairs on the front porch holding great-grands in my lap with my hard-of-hearing hubby. Those visions were my reality.

Now I'm adjusting to a new reality. Getting the kids up and going in the mornings with no backup. Juggling work, kids, church, home, more kids' stuff, etc., and trying to do so without losing my mind. And, more than likely, more work hours on my plate.  

What I see in my future is me continuing in counseling and hopefully furthering my career. I see my two children growing and becoming all that God wants them to be. I see myself spending more time with my parents and brother and his wife. I foresee rocking on the front porch loving on nieces and nephews, and, yes, eventually--WAY in the future--grands and great-grands. (I don't see a hubby there right now, but that's not to say there won't be one.)

Most importantly, I see myself happy, truly happy. Being alone or being with someone no longer determines that fact for me. That's my new reality.

“Pleasure may come from illusion, but happiness can come only of reality.”



                                                  ~Chamfort

A Vacation of a Lifetime

Taylorville Primary Singers

Well, if you haven't guessed by this point, my family and I went to Walt Disney World for a vacation.

Not only did I get to enjoy Disney World and all its pleasures, I also watched my baby girl perform with her primary school choir in Downtown Disney. If I was a better writer, I might be able to describe the pride I had the moment I saw my baby singing and dancing on stage. Since my talent isn't up to par for the task, just know that there have been few moments I've ever been as proud--and I've never been prouder!

A daughter may outgrow your lap, but she will never outgrow your heart.

The End

13 years, 11 months and 22 days.

Thank you so much for your love, friendship and support. You will always have a piece of my heart.

“As I look back on all that's happened..growing up, growing together, changing you, changing me -- there were times when we dreamed together, when we laughed and cried together. As I look back on those days, I realize how much I truly miss you and how much I truly love you. The past may be gone forever..and whatever the future holds, our todays make the memories of tomorrow. So, my lifetime friend, it is with all my heart that I send you my love, hoping that you'll always carry my smile with you, for all we have meant to each other and for whatever the future may hold.”

A Week of Quotes--Day 7

It's kind of fun to do the impossible.



                                                    ~Walt Disney

A Week of Quotes--Day 6

All the adversity I've had in my life, all my troubles and obstacles, have strengthened me... You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you.                                                        ~Walt Disney

A Week of Quotes--Day 5

When you believe in a thing, believe in it all the way, implicitly and unquestionable.



                                                    ~Walt Disney

A Week of Quotes--Day 4

The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing.



                                                     ~Walt Disney

A Week of Quotes--Day 3

The more you like yourself, the less you are like anyone else, which makes you unique.



                                                    ~Walt Disney

A Week of Quotes--Day 2

I always like to look on the optimistic side of life, but I am realistic enough to know that life is a complex matter.



                                                ~Walt Disney

A Week of Quotes--Day 1

All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.



                                                            ~Walt Disney

Happy Day

My job is stressful at times. It's the nature of the beast. This stress can lead to bad, unhappy days.  Today was NOT one of those days.

Today was one of the best days I have had as a mental health professional. Nothing extraordinary really. I was able to see two of my work kids explore a lab and ask questions about chemistry and physics from real live doctors in the above mentioned fields. And then, I was able to go and talk with a new foster mom whose desire to do for and love the child in her home made me want to cry.

How can you not have a great day when you are able to meet and work with such wonderful people?!

For today and its blessings, I owe the world an attitude of gratitude.

Thoughts...or Lack Thereof

I zone out when I walk, retreating into my head. Sometimes I might think about important issues, such as how to deal with a relationship or my next professional move. Most of the time, though, I daydream.
When I daydream, I'm escaping for a brief period of time from the stress of the day. The daydream itself isn't necessarily important. I've daydreamed about confronting a rival and saying everything I want to say (and winning the argument, of course.) I've also daydreamed about romantic encounters with sexy, intelligent men.  But, sometimes I vary my daydreams to include winning the Power Ball or beating up a punk with my super powers. Hey! there are no rules to daydreaming, so why limit myself?

Daydreaming is the mental break that I sometimes need from the planning and problem-solving I do daily. And, it has the added advantage of being a lot cheaper than therapy!

“Wishing is good for us. Daydreams, fantasies, castles in the air, and aspirations all drive us forward, impel us to make things happen. They also tell us a lot about ourselves. Our wishes come straight from our core, and they are loaded with vital in”

Pitied or Powerful

"You can choose to be either pitied or powerful."

Working with abused children--and just having lived long enough--I've begun to see a pattern when it comes to how people handle situations in their lives.

In the case of my work kids, I've witnessed some kids refuse to move past the abuse they've suffered to fulfill their potential. They choose instead to blame the abuse, the past abusers, therapists, DHR workers, teachers, preachers, foster parents, parents, me, ect, ect, ect for their own mistakes. It becomes easier to say, "If this or that didn't happen, I would be all better." and wallow in self-pity and recriminations than to accept that they need to make changes.

I've seen the exact opposite, also. I've witnessed children who, if they chose to sit at home and watch Jerry Springer and eat Twinkies, no one would really blame them after what they had suffered through. But these children choose to do and be more. They tell themselves, "Despite this or that happening, I will do better!" and they work hard at school or work. They also choose to admit to their own mistakes and choose to learn from them in order to become a stronger, wiser person.

What makes one person a victim and another a fighter? If I had to hazard a guess, I would say a combo of nature and nuture. I can't rearrange my kids' DNA to give them more fight, but I can provide them with the reassurance and occasional therapeutic butt-chewing to motivate them to overcome obstacles. It doesn't always work, but at least my kids know I care enough to want them to fight. Because, in my opinion, until we all stop playing victims and start fighting to improve ourselves, we will never be all that God wants us to be for ourselves and for those we love.

"If it's never our fault, we can't take responsibility for it. If we can't take responsibility for it, we'll always be its victim.”



                                   ~Richard Bach

Thankful

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

Today I am truly thankful for my multiple blessings. Two amazing children that I love and adore. A family that supports me and loves me warts and all. Friends that find my crazy "the fun kind of crazy" and not just crazy. A man with whom I can remain best friends with although we will no longer be married. The fact that I have known an amazing love in my life. But most importantly, I'm truly thankful for my Saviour, Jesus Christ, and for the strength and love He gives me daily.

“Continue in prayer, and watch in the same with thanksgiving. (Colossians 4:2)”

My Red Beauty

I said goodbye to my beautiful red car tonight. It was time to let her go.

Although only an object, that car represented a lot to me. It was the first car I ever negotiated and bought on my own. It was a red convertible, something I always dreamed of owning. It was a way of expressing myself to the world.

But it was only a car, and it was something that can be replaced at a later date. And all that it represented to me--independence, dreams and self-expression--remains within me. I no longer need a car to understand that fact.

“The red car was a way for me to feel just more alive.”

                            ~Debra Davis



A Letter to John Smith

Dear Mr. Smith,


I hope this letter finds you in good health and spirits. I understand that you have recently been plagued with a series of health issues, and I know this must be trying for you as you are known to suffer silently, not wishing to burden others with your hardships.

The reason for this letter is two-fold: 1) I wished to acknowledge your previous correspondence with me earlier this year as well as your dedication to following this blog, and 2) to express to you some concerns that I have regarding your partnership.

As you know, I met your partner several years ago and had the privilege of conversing with him about various subjects during that time. Although I have not spoken to him in months, I do believe that I can still shed some light on the problems that your partnership has recently endured.

Through conversations with your partner, it became obvious that the problems that developed early on were not due to any outside variables. Most of the problems, from my understanding, had been developing and intensifying for several years prior to any stressors outside the partnership. Then—and please forgive me if I am mistaken on this part as this information was gleaned from your partner—you had thoughts of ending the partnership on more than one occasion, going as far as having several serious discussions with another individual about starting a different partnership. You ended up choosing to remain with your current partner, although you continued to express extreme discontent and disappointment in him, further eroding the partnership.

I know that, since that time, you have begun expressing a deep appreciation for your partner and for the clear benefits your partner brings to you and your operation. Having said that, I wish to express my concern that your appreciation of your partner only developed after he had chosen to look into creating his own establishment. Will your appreciation again fade if you feel your partner no longer has other options available to him? I pray this is not the case.

It is my sincere hope that you and your partner are able to repair your relationship, as I know your organization serves some wonderful clients who count on you both daily. I also know that your partner wishes to mend the partnership, and, for this reason, I fully support the decision. May your partnership be long and successful union.

Sincerely,

The Boogie Man

"At some point in time, a business decision will have to be made. My concern is that business decisions affect people.”



                                         ~Michael Clements

One Man's Trash

"One man's trash is another man's treasure."

Have you ever decided you were going to clean out the clutter in your house? You go on a cleaning spree, going through closet and drawers, filling garbage bags and boxes with odds and ends you know you will never want or need again. You either have a garage sale or give the items to charity. You feel you have accomplished a goal. Right up until you realize that you have just given away something that you needed; and you can't get it back, because someone has found their "treasure."

Now, how many times have you done this with relationships? You chose to either ignore a relationship, because it wasn't needed at the time; or you think you no longer need the relationship, so you let it go. Then, after the person you've ignored walks away, or after someone else discovers your "trash", you realize what you've done.

Sometimes we need to clean out the clutter in our lives, both the physical items and the relationships. But doing so without thought or foresight can lead to more than regret. It can lead to the loss of an amazing treasure that can never be replaced.

"No one should be condemned as trash; even a little stick can serve as a toothpick!”



                                            ~Atharva Veda

The Rest-Rest of the Story

I finally replaced my driver's license today!!! Whoohoo!!! Take that Murphy!

"It's great. I set a goal for myself and I reached it. Now I've got to set a new one and keep on going.”

                                         ~ Janay Yancey

And Now the Rest of the Story...

(Thanks Robin for the title idea!)

Off I head to the probate judge's office in order to change my name to the name I've been using for forever. I enter the probate judge's office looking even more like a drowned cat. I explain to the nice lady what I needed to do. She asked for identification. I showed her the copy I had of my driver's license. Unfortunately, it still had an old address on it. BUT, I could walk to the Board of Registrar's office and get my voter registration as proof of identification.


Hi ho, hi ho, it's off to the Registrar's we go! In the rain. Without an umbrella. (By this time, I realized that I was attracting some concerned stares as I had begun giggling to myself.) The clerk at the registrar's office was very kind, and, THANK YOU GOD!, did not ask me for a picture id. I get my notorized copy of my voter registration and troup back to the probate judge's office.

Looking less like a drowned cat and more like death warmed over by this point, the very kind clerk starts laughing and trying to make me feel better. AH! Another positive thinker! By the end of the process where I officially became the person I thought I was for so very long, I was sopping wet and still driver license-less. But I'm only one step away from getting my license. I hope!

“I've learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our dispositions and not on our circumstances.”



                                             ~Martha Washington

The Week Murphy's Law Ruled Part II

Every story has an ending. At least that is what I thought. Apparently, with me and my ongoing saga to replace my driver's license, this is not the case.

Today I went back today to the Social Security office, armed with a note from my doctor, my birth certificate and social security card. I only had to wait about 10 minutes before being called back behind "the door." This was a great sign, and, although I was looking a little like a drowned cat after walking through the rain with no umbrella, I felt my luck was changing for the better. HA! I'm so funny!

As the social security lady listened to my tale of whoa, she began examining my many forms of identification. If you've been following this story, you should guess the next part of the plot--the note from my doctor didn't work. It wasn't on letter head. And, no, they will not take a faxed letter. Oh! and by the way, you've been signing your name illegally for the past 13 1/2 years. You MUST use your given first name or legally change your name. See the probate judge's office.

To be continued....

“For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness.”

                                                                    ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
Also, a training update: I walked three miles on Tuesday and Thursday of last week. I walked six miles yesterday. I missed my six mile walk on Saturday, but will do better this week!



                                      

Emotional Triage

Have you ever been in a busy emergency room? Hopefully not, but if you have, you will recognize the following scenario or one similar.


You enter the emergency room with a large gash on some part of your body. You’ve stopped the bleeding, but you are in a lot of pain. You tell the triage nurse what the problem is, rate your pain from a scale of 1 to 10, and you are told to sit and wait your turn. Now, you may have rated your pain an “8”, but you are holding it together and not screaming your head off. You look over to see who is taken back to see the doctor in front of you. It’s someone who is screaming his or her head off, so you are thinking an arm is missing. Nope, the stomach is hurting. “Okay,” you think to yourself, “it must be appendicitis.” Nope again. You overhear the nurses talking, and it’s actually bad gas. But that person is triaged ahead of you, because he or she rated the pain level as “10.”

Sometimes I feel like we triage people emotionally in the same fashion. Those that appear strong-- those that don’t scream and cry and act as if they will lose their mind at any second-- those are triaged behind the “squeaky wheels.” When individuals who are strong are continuously placed behind others, though, there will be damage. Just as a cut left unattended will leave a nasty scar, emotional needs left unattended will leave nasty emotional scars. And just as some physical scars never stop hurting, the same is case with emotional scars. The difference between the two: With physical scars, you immediately see where a person was damaged; and you can work to provide better care to that person. With an emotional scar, often you can’t see the scar, so better care isn’t provided; and soon, the person you knew is no longer the same. That’s why, no matter what, you have to triage based on the need and not the noise.

“He jests at scars that never felt a wound”

                      ~William Shakespeare

A Hope, a Wish, a Prayer

I hope that, eventually, my logical self will convince my emotional self of some basic facts.
I wish for the knowledge that will give me peace.
I pray to God that the one I love will find salvation.

Old Cards

Although I have yet to reach the level of hoarding to have my own show, I have been known to hang on to items probably longer than I should.

 For instance, I recently found three cards from an old boyfriend of mine. Reading them, I was reminded of the love and dreams we once shared. From getting married to building houses, we talked about and believed in all the dreams written in those cards.

Like my boyfriend, those dreams are gone now. But not the love. When I love, that love remains forever--maybe in a different form--but love, nonetheless. In this area, I gladly admit to being a hoarder!

 “You may not love me today, tomorrow, or ever, but I will love you until it kills me, and, even then, you'll be in my heart.”

True Love

Have you ever noticed how the love shown on movies and television often bares no resemblance to real life love?

In the media, love is always passionate, problems between lovers are resolved by screaming matches followed by a wild night of sex, and the kids always manage to disappear when they need to be gone. Ummm, sure.

My experience with love is, yes, there are times of passion. But, most days, a gentle touch on the back or a
long hug conveys more meaning than fits of rage or wild sex. And, I'm not sure, but I think my kids have a built in conflict detector that compels them to constantly interrupt any argument or making up time.
There's another difference between media love and real life love. With media love, everyone usually ends up happy at the end of the story. With real life love--true love--you are willing to make any sacrifice to make the other person happy. Even if that sacrifice leaves you hurting. For, when you truly love someone, it's only when you know you have done all in your power to make him or her happy do you feel truly content.

     

“True love doesn't have a happy ending, because true love never ends. Letting go is one way of saying I love you.”

A Three Mile Walk, Money Saved, and an Overflowing Toilet

Here's the quick and easy update, as I'm tired and will be crashing shortly.

I was a good girl tonight and completed my three mile walk. Granted, I finished at 9:00 p.m., but I did it.

Prior to the walk, I went to Publix and saved more than I spent. I purchased $21.57 worth of groceries and saved $27.91. Whoohoo!

Now, it was fortuitous that I saved that money as I had to run to Wal-Mart to buy a new plunger after discovering an overflowing toilet. (My old plunger broke during the plunging process.) Please note: Wal-Mart at 9:30 at night is a rather scary place. Fascinating, but scary.

I'm now going to crash.

Night-night. Sleep tight. Don't let the bed bugs bite!

For All My Kids

I had this poem up in my office for years. I think I'll be giving it to all my kids for Christmas.

Listen to the Mustn'ts

Listen to the MUSTN'TS, child,

Listen to the DON'TS

Listen to the SHOULDN'TS

The IMPOSSIBLES, the WON'TS

Listen to the NEVER HAVES

Then listen close to me--

Anything can happen child,

ANYTHING can be.

                     

                                       ~ Shel Silverstein



Blaming the Boogie Man

When I was a child, I had a recurring nightmare. In my dream, gorillas would chase me and the Flintstones around the jungle until, eventually, I would fall off a cliff. I hated that dream, and, by proxy, I hated gorillas. My boogie men.

I no longer have the nightmare, and I no longer fear gorillas. But, as an adult, I've had other boogie men in my life. People or situations that scared me or made me feel weak. And, I admit, there were times when I chose to blame the "boogie man" for the different problems in my life.

Here's the reality of the situation, though: No one or nothing can make you feel scared or weak unless you let them. And, if you have problems in your life, most likely the biggest boogie man to blame is staring back at you in the mirror. For, it is ALWAYS your decision as to how to conduct yourself, and you must look at how your behaviors or decisions contributed to a bad situation. If you choose not to do so, but instead, lay the blame for all your worries and troubles at the feet of the "evil one" in your life, you are taking the way of the coward. It takes a courageous person to face one's own shortcomings and to make the effort to change. Only then will the damage created by your inner boogie man begin to heal.

“Face your fears and doubts, and new worlds will open to you.”

                                                            ~Robert Kiyosaki

 

The Week That Murphy's Law Ruled

If everyone will forgive me, I'm just going to hide at my house until the day is over. I'm a bit leery to do anything else.

As I've documented earlier in the week, it's been a bit crazy for me lately. This has included the Catch 22 of not being able to replace my driver's license and the wreck involving my pretty car. Yesterday continued the trend.  My schedule for the day required me to have a home visit after hours. This would not have been a problem since the kids were to stay with their daddy that night.

I should have known better. The day's discombobulation began when US Airlines decided to arbitrarily cancel my ex's flight out of Charlotte. This caused my ex to have to divert into Huntsville and arrive back home 6 hours later than he was scheduled.  Now, although mildly frustrating for me (and majorly frustrating for my ex), this was not a huge deal. My wonderful babysitter would be able to watch the kids a little late for me.

I then received the call from my other wonderful neighbor. My babysitter was sick with the stomach virus. No problem, though, because wonderful neighbor number two could watch my babies for me until I got home. Whooo! Crisis diverted!

Then I got around to telling my neighbor I would be a bit late. Problem. My neighbor's sister-in-law was coming into town and they had plans. So began my scramble to re-arrange the rest of my day. 

Now, here's the bright side to all of this: I didn't have to work late, and re-scheduling is several steps up from a wreck! HA!!! Found the silver lining! Just to be on the safe side, though, I'm still staying home today!

“All of us have bad luck and good luck. The man who persists through the bad luck - who keeps right on going - is the man who is there when the good luck comes - and is ready to receive it.”



                                                       ~Robert Collier

Good Morning to Me!

I'm going back to bed and starting today over!

“My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.”

                                                     ~Ed Furgol

Perfect Thoughts

Never try to top perfection!

“I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it

seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow. I've learned that
you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things:
a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights. I've learned that
regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're
gone from your life. I've learned that making a living is not the same thing as
making a life. I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.
I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both
hands; you need to be able to throw some things back. I've learned that whenever
I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision. I've
learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one. I've learned that
every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or
just a friendly pat on the back. I've learned that I still have a lot to learn.
I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you
did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”


~Maya Angelou

The Old Man In My Bed

I have to make a confession. I'm sleeping with a 105 year old. He's lost most of his teeth and his breath stinks; he is almost completely blind and deaf; and, although he still has all the hair on his head, most of it is now snow white.

Before anyone accuses me of pulling an Anna Nicole, let me just say this old man has four legs. He's my "first baby", Romeo.  A miniature dachshund, I brought Romeo home when he was only four weeks old, after his mother weened him early.

When I was deciding what to name him, I thought Romeo was perfect. Although I was dating my future husband at the time, I wasn't positive how long we would be together. I decided, if I named my dog Romeo, then I would always be guaranteed a little romance in my life. (Yep! I was that cheesy at 22.)

Romeo has been with me now through an engagement, a marriage, two births, four houses, a slew of jobs and a separation. We have shared the influx of various critters into our lives, including other dogs, cats, fish and a lone hamster.  I've helped re-hab him back from a broken back which left him partially paralyzed for several weeks. Through thick and thin, through all the changes, we've been together.

Now he's slowly declining in health, and I'm not sure how much longer I will have him with me. I don't want to lose him, as he's been a source of happiness in my life for so long. But I know, if he begins to hurt, and it's only my selfishness keeping him in the pain, I will let him go. I love him too much not to, no matter how much it will break my heart to lose my old man.

“He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.”

Rebellion in the Ranks

I have a rebellion on my hands.

My children have decided that A) school is dumb, and B) they want to be home schooled.  Now, most of the time, I can counter the arguments for both A and B with ease. But, there are times when I just have to think...hmmm.

For instance, my son keeps wondering why you have to continue learning the same information from year to year to year. It didn't help his attitude when our 9th grade neighbor and my son began discussing science. Each were learning the same information and had tests on the same vocabulary words. This caused my son to complain that he gets bored and wants to learn new information. How in the world do you argue with that?!

Then there's my daughter. She has launched a more emotion-based attack. She wants to know why we can't all just learn from our parents, "like Adam and Eve taught their children." In this way, she would be able to spend so much more time with me. I rejected the first answer that popped into my head, "Because Adam and Eve's son killed his brother! You would kill your brother, too, if you were home with him every day!" I didn't feel this was exactly the route I should take.

So, I now have a rebellion to quell--lovingly, of course. My first offensive maneuver will be at 0600 hours when I try to get them out of bed to go to school. God (and coffee) be with me!

We don't need no education

we don't need no thought control

No dark sarcasm in the classroom

Teachers leave the kids alone

Hey teacher leaves the kids alone

All in all its just another brick in the wall

All in all you're just another brick in the wall

~Pink Floyd "Another Brick in the Wall"