Owies

I received two shots yesterday. I don't like shots. They hurt and then they can make you feel icky afterwards. My right arm is still sore from the stupid things!

As bad as shots are, though, I know that my discomfort will ease in a couple of days. What happens when the owie is bigger? How long does it take for the pain to ease?

Recently, some decisions made caused my children to hurt. Because of that, I'm hurting. I would do anything in this world to take the pain away from them, but I can't. So, I do all I can do. I kiss them and hug them and tell them how wonderful they are as I pray for their owies to heal.

“Now I know I've got a heart, because it's breaking.”



                                                               Tin Woodsman

Acting

I've been told I'm a good actress. Not the on-stage or t.v. variety, but in the day-to-day life situations. 

I'm not sure if I would call it acting. I'm just good at emphasizing that part of me that is needed for that day or in that moment. If it's the counselor with (hopefully) words of wisdom, I've got it covered. If it's the momma that needs to love or discipline, I'm there. If it's the strong woman who needs to be positive in the face of hardship, I'm good to go.

The problem is, sometimes I have trouble knowing what part of me I need for myself.  So, I'm trying to figure that out as I continue acting out my life.

“So show a little inspiration/ show a little spark/ show the world a little act when you show it your heart/ we've got two lives--one we're given,/ and the other one we make/ and the world won't stop/ and actions speak louder/ listen to your heart.”



                         Performed by Mary-Chapin Carpenter

Boy Crazy

When I was younger, I was boy crazy.  Okay, maybe "was" is a mistatement. I'll admit it--I'm still boy crazy.  Of course, I don't use that term. I feel I appreciate beauty in the male form. And, of course, I find the energy from a male person to be energizing.

Yeah. I'm boy crazy.

The difference between when I was younger and now is that I no longer equate the attraction I feel for a man with love. Attraction is a spark, a possibility, a maybe. Love is a promise, a hope, a forever.

No relationship will last forever in it's original form. It may evolve into something completely different than what it was in the beginning. Or, it may completely dissolve. But the love behind that relationship will always remain, even if it's only a shadow of what it once was.

So, I'm boy crazy. But, as far as love goes, I'm completely sane.

“Love is like a violin. The music may stop now and then, but the strings remain forever.”

                                                     June Masters Bacher

Not Knowing

I hate not knowing. HATE IT! I need to know what's going on, not to be nosey, but to be able to plan and help and support--okay, and sometimes to be nosey. But, for the most part, I just need to know so I can feel safe.

Most of the time, I'm afforded this luxury. Something may change at the last minute, or I might be disappointed with a decision, but as long as I have an idea of which direction I'm heading in, I'm good.

Sometimes, though, the rug is pulled out from under me.  It hurts, and its scary. I hate every second of it. And, for the longest time, I wanted someone that would protect me from those scary times.

I've learned, though, that you can't avoid those times, no matter how diligently you try to know all that you need to know. I've also learned it's not fair to ask someone to take on the job of "Protector Against All Unknowns". It's a job that everyone would fail.

So, I pray. I pray that God will provide me the strength to get through the dark, scary times, all by myself if need be. I pray that I learn from the struggles I go through and that I can help others with what I learn. I pray that I make it through the hard times with grace and laughter and hope.

Let it be understood--I pray for you.

Every day.

I pray that God will bring you close to Him.

I pray for your health.

I pray for your protection.

I pray for your happiness.

And I pray you heed the words of the angel who guides you with love.



                                         ~  Unknown

Technical Difficulties

Okay, I am typing on my itty-bitty keyboard on my iPhone because my Internet at the house is down. Hence, the lack of recent posts. When I have a real keyboard again, I will post.

Addicted

Hi. My name is Christie, and I'm a couponer.

For those of my friends whom I haven't regaled with the wonders of my savings, let me just update you.  I am officially shopping at Publix (due to coupon mania there!), and I'm saving tons of cash. For instance, today I spent $111.00 and saved $107.00. That's pretty good in my opinion.

I've also officially made money at CVS. $2.00 plus to be exact. And saved bu coups at other times.

It's a rush for me to know that my money is going a lot further. Especially now when I need it to go as far as possible.

So, I'm an coupon addict and proud of it! If they would only start making some serious coupons for shoes, I'd be in heaven!

"By sowing frugality we reap liberty,

a golden harvest."

                                                            Agesilaus

This is one of the websites that enables my addiction: www.iheartpublix.com  Check it out if you are wanting to catch the coupon bug!

Sara Bareilles - King Of Anything

Stuck in My Head

There are days when I will have a phrase, a song, a cheer (compliments of my daughter), or a verse stuck in my head.  Usually I can pinpoint why I became fixated on that one particular whatever fairly easily. 

A confused little kid used some big man talk, declaring, "I got this!" For the rest of the day, I catch myself using the same tough-talk vernacular (to the amusement of friends and family.)

A Taylor Swift song comes on the radio, and, DANG, I'm humming "Should've Said No" while cooking dinner.

My daughter has cheerleading practice, and all of a sudden all I can think of is, "How funky is your chicken? How funky is your chicken? How loose is your goose? How loose is your goose? Now come on all you Patriot fans and shake your caboose!" (It's really bad when I start DOING the cheer.)

As far as verses go, usually they are tied directly to an event or a person whom I've worked with that day. The verse is something that helps me to help them (or helps me to help me to be perfectly honest.)

There are days, though, that something pops in my mind and won't go away, and I can't figure out why. Today it was the Apostle's Creed. I just kept reciting it over and over in my head. It made me feel better as today was a little hard for me.

So, I've decided the Apostle's Creed was officially stuck in my head by God. Maybe I'm wrong. I don't think so, though.

I believe in God the Father Almighty,

maker of heaven and earth;

And in Jesus Christ his only Son our Lord:

who was conceived by the Holy Spirit,

born of the Virgin Mary,

suffered under Pontius Pilate,

was crucified, dead, and buried;

the third day he rose from the dead;

he ascended into heaven,

and sitteth at the right hand of God the Father Almighty;

from thence he shall come to judge the quick and the dead.

I believe in the Holy Spirit,

the holy catholic church,[26]

the communion of saints,

the forgiveness of sins,

the resurrection of the body,

and the life everlasting. Amen.

Taxi!

You know those magnetic signs you see on cars advertising for different businesses? I've actually considered getting one. A huge yellow one with big, black, bold letters stating--MOMMA'S TAXI. 

Now, as everyone knows, I have a job that requires me to be on the road a great deal. So I'm fairly used to the whole car thing. And I'm even pretty good at juggling about three appointments in two hours with four kids.

BUT, then I'm home and I have to be mom. And, for some reason, mom is expected to do so much more than just shuttle children from one point to another.  Here was my schedule once I officially "clocked in" as Mom.

• Get home at 5:00 p.m.
• Text son to come home and get ready for football practice.
• Begin Hamburger Helper supper which I try to teach son to prepare. (He has officially become a bottomless pit and is ALWAYS hungry. This is my attempt to save him from certain starvation.)
• Raise voice at son as he argues with me while not preparing for football practice.
• Scoop Hamburger Helper in bowl, grab fork, hand to son.
• Frantically search daughter's room for shorts and a t-shirt for cheerleaing practice.
• Rush out the door to pick up daughter from extended day with son in tow.
• Attempt not to curse the other drivers in the $#%@% bumper to bumper traffic caused by road construction. (A few choice words slipped, but they were all mumbled.)
• Pick up daughter at extended day with 7 minutes to spare.
• Receive a disappointed whine from daughter as she learns I did not have time in my day to hock the latest school fundraising whatever.
• Have daughter change from her dress into her practice outfit in the backseat of the car.
• Drop son off at football practice after thoroughly embarrassing him by trying to wipe Hamburger Helper off his chin with a licked thumb.
• Again attempt to get through the @%#& traffic to get my daughter to cheerleading practice while she continues to whine about "prizes." (By the way, if you ever hear of a mother setting fire to all fundraising items at a school, please know it's because she has lost her mind after listening to her child badger her about winning a $2.00 prize if he sells $600.00 worth of items a gazillion times.)
• Stay and watch my daughter and approximately 15 other LOUD little girls learn their dance routine/ cheers.
• Drop daughter off at home to eat supper.
• Go and pick up son from football practice.
• Come home and throw on a load of laundry.
• Homework. Meltdown. Homework. More meltdown.
• Bedtime for Bonzos.
• I type blog.

So ends my day. Except for the laundry to do, the lunches to pack, the homework to check . . .


"A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car for ever after."



                                                                 — Peter De Vries

MOMMA

My son has been having a hard time of it lately, so, so have I. He is currently suffering through a nasty combo of a growth spirt, hormones, and not enough sleep. His attitude cannot be described as upbeat right now. Just slightly worse than Napolean's at Waterloo would probably be a more accurate description.

Right now the world revolves around him (in his eyes), and, as such, I am to revolve around his whims.  Having tried to rationalize, explain, reason, and otherwise use all appropriate tools that a counselor is trained to use, I went full-blown MOMMA mode. (Mean Ol' Momma Modulates Attitude)

MOMMA has now confiscated his t.v. from his bedroom for one year.  I was told this was way too harsh, to which I responded in true MOMMA form, "TOUGH!"

MOMMA has also confiscated the computer for three months. (The twit is allowed to earn his computer back with significant improvement of his attitude.)

As I dropped my son off this morning at school, I told him I loved him very much. I received the response that "obviously not" since MOMMA had taken away all of his stuff emphasized with a sound slamming of the car door.

I know eventually my son will recognize that MOMMA was doing what was needed to help him become the man I know he will be. But in that moment, being MOMMA sucked!


Wherever there is authority, there is a natural inclination to disobedience.
                                                                            Thomas Haliburton

In Memory of Angela Sullivan Junkin

Once a month, I want to try and profile someone who has battled breast cancer.  This month I am profiling Angela Junkin, the aunt of my good friend Robin M.  Here is what I learned from talking with Robin.

Me: What would you say was your aunt's "thing" that she was known for? What characteristic?

Robin: I would say that she was known for being fun. She was always having fun and making sure others were having fun.  Someone was always laughing when she was around.

Me: So, what is your favorite memory of her?

Robin: I didn't appreciate this at the time, but now it's pretty funny. For my first football game in the band, my whole family was saying they were going to do something--make big signs or something.  When we started marching out to the field, everyone was asking, "Who's the crazy lady hanging over the fence in the hat?" I honestly did not see her. But later on, I looked up and saw my aunt hanging over the fence with a hat that said "BooBoo's Aunt" with Billy Bob teeth in. I was so embarrassed since I was in 8th grade at the time. Now, looking back on it, though, it's pretty funny.

Me: It sounds like your aunt was a trip!

Robin: She was!

Me: When was she first diagnosed with breast cancer?

Robin: The first time she was diagnosed it was in 2004. At that time she had a masectomy and underwent chemotherapy. The second time she was diagnosed it was in 2007.  At that point, the doctors had to remove a rib, and my aunt did radiation. The final time she was diagnosed was in July of 2008. At that point, the doctors said there was nothing else she could do.

Me: Did your aunt change after she was diagnosed the first time? 

Robin: Yeah. She was different because she was tired and worn out and never did feel good because of the chemo.  She also became serious about her lists.

Me: So, did she start making lists after she was diagnosed with cancer, or did she always make lists?

Robin: She always made lists about places she wanted to go or to events she wanted to see, but she became more serious about them after she found out she had cancer. She had lists of things she wanted to do, and she was going to do them.  After the second time she was diagnosed, my aunt became more depressed. She just accepted this was how she was going to die. It was really hard to see her like that, because she had always been the fun one.

Me: How did her cancer affect her family?

Robin: Her daughter was only 14 or 15 the first time she was diagnosed, and she didn't really seem to be affected too much.  My uncle was real hard to read during that time.  The second time, though, you could tell my uncle was scared, mainly because my aunt kept talking about the cancer. She went from being upbeat to depressed. My cousin also changed after the second bout of cancer, and, when my aunt died, she became really depressed.

Me: What do you think your aunt would want people to remember her for?

Robin: I think she would want to be remembered as the planner, the person who would do something and not just talk about doing something. At the time of her death, she was planning a family trip out to the Grand Canyon. She told my dad, "If you go to the Grand Canyon without me, I'll haunt your ass!" 

Me: (Laughing) And she would have done it too! 

Robin: Oh yeah she would have!

Me: What did you learn from your aunt?

Robin: Probably how to take care of people. I saw how she treated her two step-sons whom you would have never known weren't her biological sons. She was the person I'd go to for advice first, and she was my "back up" person, the person I knew would check on me and support me.

Me: Is there anything else you would want to say about your aunt?

Robin: Just that her mother is a breast cancer survivor, and that she was really worried for her daughter. My aunt made us promise that we would make her daughter get screened, even if we had to take her kicking and screaming.  My aunt ended up having two different kinds of breast cancer. The doctors thought, when she was diagnosed the second time, that they had not gotten all of the cancer the first time around. They later discovered it was a different type of breast cancer. So, not only was my aunt worried for her daughter because of the strong family history of the disease, she was also worried because of the different type of breast cancers that have been in her family.

March 23, 1958 - August 26, 2008