All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.
~Walt Disney
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Monday, November 29, 2010
Happy Day
My job is stressful at times. It's the nature of the beast. This stress can lead to bad, unhappy days. Today was NOT one of those days.
Today was one of the best days I have had as a mental health professional. Nothing extraordinary really. I was able to see two of my work kids explore a lab and ask questions about chemistry and physics from real live doctors in the above mentioned fields. And then, I was able to go and talk with a new foster mom whose desire to do for and love the child in her home made me want to cry.
How can you not have a great day when you are able to meet and work with such wonderful people?!
Today was one of the best days I have had as a mental health professional. Nothing extraordinary really. I was able to see two of my work kids explore a lab and ask questions about chemistry and physics from real live doctors in the above mentioned fields. And then, I was able to go and talk with a new foster mom whose desire to do for and love the child in her home made me want to cry.
How can you not have a great day when you are able to meet and work with such wonderful people?!
For today and its blessings, I owe the world an attitude of gratitude.
Thoughts...or Lack Thereof
I zone out when I walk, retreating into my head. Sometimes I might think about important issues, such as how to deal with a relationship or my next professional move. Most of the time, though, I daydream.
When I daydream, I'm escaping for a brief period of time from the stress of the day. The daydream itself isn't necessarily important. I've daydreamed about confronting a rival and saying everything I want to say (and winning the argument, of course.) I've also daydreamed about romantic encounters with sexy, intelligent men. But, sometimes I vary my daydreams to include winning the Power Ball or beating up a punk with my super powers. Hey! there are no rules to daydreaming, so why limit myself?
Daydreaming is the mental break that I sometimes need from the planning and problem-solving I do daily. And, it has the added advantage of being a lot cheaper than therapy!
“Wishing is good for us. Daydreams, fantasies, castles in the air, and aspirations all drive us forward, impel us to make things happen. They also tell us a lot about ourselves. Our wishes come straight from our core, and they are loaded with vital in”
When I daydream, I'm escaping for a brief period of time from the stress of the day. The daydream itself isn't necessarily important. I've daydreamed about confronting a rival and saying everything I want to say (and winning the argument, of course.) I've also daydreamed about romantic encounters with sexy, intelligent men. But, sometimes I vary my daydreams to include winning the Power Ball or beating up a punk with my super powers. Hey! there are no rules to daydreaming, so why limit myself?
Daydreaming is the mental break that I sometimes need from the planning and problem-solving I do daily. And, it has the added advantage of being a lot cheaper than therapy!
“Wishing is good for us. Daydreams, fantasies, castles in the air, and aspirations all drive us forward, impel us to make things happen. They also tell us a lot about ourselves. Our wishes come straight from our core, and they are loaded with vital in”
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Pitied or Powerful
"You can choose to be either pitied or powerful."
Working with abused children--and just having lived long enough--I've begun to see a pattern when it comes to how people handle situations in their lives.
In the case of my work kids, I've witnessed some kids refuse to move past the abuse they've suffered to fulfill their potential. They choose instead to blame the abuse, the past abusers, therapists, DHR workers, teachers, preachers, foster parents, parents, me, ect, ect, ect for their own mistakes. It becomes easier to say, "If this or that didn't happen, I would be all better." and wallow in self-pity and recriminations than to accept that they need to make changes.
I've seen the exact opposite, also. I've witnessed children who, if they chose to sit at home and watch Jerry Springer and eat Twinkies, no one would really blame them after what they had suffered through. But these children choose to do and be more. They tell themselves, "Despite this or that happening, I will do better!" and they work hard at school or work. They also choose to admit to their own mistakes and choose to learn from them in order to become a stronger, wiser person.
What makes one person a victim and another a fighter? If I had to hazard a guess, I would say a combo of nature and nuture. I can't rearrange my kids' DNA to give them more fight, but I can provide them with the reassurance and occasional therapeutic butt-chewing to motivate them to overcome obstacles. It doesn't always work, but at least my kids know I care enough to want them to fight. Because, in my opinion, until we all stop playing victims and start fighting to improve ourselves, we will never be all that God wants us to be for ourselves and for those we love.
"If it's never our fault, we can't take responsibility for it. If we can't take responsibility for it, we'll always be its victim.”
~Richard Bach
Working with abused children--and just having lived long enough--I've begun to see a pattern when it comes to how people handle situations in their lives.
In the case of my work kids, I've witnessed some kids refuse to move past the abuse they've suffered to fulfill their potential. They choose instead to blame the abuse, the past abusers, therapists, DHR workers, teachers, preachers, foster parents, parents, me, ect, ect, ect for their own mistakes. It becomes easier to say, "If this or that didn't happen, I would be all better." and wallow in self-pity and recriminations than to accept that they need to make changes.
I've seen the exact opposite, also. I've witnessed children who, if they chose to sit at home and watch Jerry Springer and eat Twinkies, no one would really blame them after what they had suffered through. But these children choose to do and be more. They tell themselves, "Despite this or that happening, I will do better!" and they work hard at school or work. They also choose to admit to their own mistakes and choose to learn from them in order to become a stronger, wiser person.
What makes one person a victim and another a fighter? If I had to hazard a guess, I would say a combo of nature and nuture. I can't rearrange my kids' DNA to give them more fight, but I can provide them with the reassurance and occasional therapeutic butt-chewing to motivate them to overcome obstacles. It doesn't always work, but at least my kids know I care enough to want them to fight. Because, in my opinion, until we all stop playing victims and start fighting to improve ourselves, we will never be all that God wants us to be for ourselves and for those we love.
"If it's never our fault, we can't take responsibility for it. If we can't take responsibility for it, we'll always be its victim.”
~Richard Bach
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Thankful
Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!
Today I am truly thankful for my multiple blessings. Two amazing children that I love and adore. A family that supports me and loves me warts and all. Friends that find my crazy "the fun kind of crazy" and not just crazy. A man with whom I can remain best friends with although we will no longer be married. The fact that I have known an amazing love in my life. But most importantly, I'm truly thankful for my Saviour, Jesus Christ, and for the strength and love He gives me daily.
“Continue in prayer, and watch in the same with thanksgiving. (Colossians 4:2)”
Today I am truly thankful for my multiple blessings. Two amazing children that I love and adore. A family that supports me and loves me warts and all. Friends that find my crazy "the fun kind of crazy" and not just crazy. A man with whom I can remain best friends with although we will no longer be married. The fact that I have known an amazing love in my life. But most importantly, I'm truly thankful for my Saviour, Jesus Christ, and for the strength and love He gives me daily.
“Continue in prayer, and watch in the same with thanksgiving. (Colossians 4:2)”
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
My Red Beauty
I said goodbye to my beautiful red car tonight. It was time to let her go.
Although only an object, that car represented a lot to me. It was the first car I ever negotiated and bought on my own. It was a red convertible, something I always dreamed of owning. It was a way of expressing myself to the world.
But it was only a car, and it was something that can be replaced at a later date. And all that it represented to me--independence, dreams and self-expression--remains within me. I no longer need a car to understand that fact.
Although only an object, that car represented a lot to me. It was the first car I ever negotiated and bought on my own. It was a red convertible, something I always dreamed of owning. It was a way of expressing myself to the world.
But it was only a car, and it was something that can be replaced at a later date. And all that it represented to me--independence, dreams and self-expression--remains within me. I no longer need a car to understand that fact.
“The red car was a way for me to feel just more alive.”
~Debra Davis
Monday, November 22, 2010
A Letter to John Smith
Dear Mr. Smith,
I hope this letter finds you in good health and spirits. I understand that you have recently been plagued with a series of health issues, and I know this must be trying for you as you are known to suffer silently, not wishing to burden others with your hardships.
The reason for this letter is two-fold: 1) I wished to acknowledge your previous correspondence with me earlier this year as well as your dedication to following this blog, and 2) to express to you some concerns that I have regarding your partnership.
As you know, I met your partner several years ago and had the privilege of conversing with him about various subjects during that time. Although I have not spoken to him in months, I do believe that I can still shed some light on the problems that your partnership has recently endured.
Through conversations with your partner, it became obvious that the problems that developed early on were not due to any outside variables. Most of the problems, from my understanding, had been developing and intensifying for several years prior to any stressors outside the partnership. Then—and please forgive me if I am mistaken on this part as this information was gleaned from your partner—you had thoughts of ending the partnership on more than one occasion, going as far as having several serious discussions with another individual about starting a different partnership. You ended up choosing to remain with your current partner, although you continued to express extreme discontent and disappointment in him, further eroding the partnership.
I know that, since that time, you have begun expressing a deep appreciation for your partner and for the clear benefits your partner brings to you and your operation. Having said that, I wish to express my concern that your appreciation of your partner only developed after he had chosen to look into creating his own establishment. Will your appreciation again fade if you feel your partner no longer has other options available to him? I pray this is not the case.
It is my sincere hope that you and your partner are able to repair your relationship, as I know your organization serves some wonderful clients who count on you both daily. I also know that your partner wishes to mend the partnership, and, for this reason, I fully support the decision. May your partnership be long and successful union.
Sincerely,
The Boogie Man
"At some point in time, a business decision will have to be made. My concern is that business decisions affect people.”
~Michael Clements
I hope this letter finds you in good health and spirits. I understand that you have recently been plagued with a series of health issues, and I know this must be trying for you as you are known to suffer silently, not wishing to burden others with your hardships.
The reason for this letter is two-fold: 1) I wished to acknowledge your previous correspondence with me earlier this year as well as your dedication to following this blog, and 2) to express to you some concerns that I have regarding your partnership.
As you know, I met your partner several years ago and had the privilege of conversing with him about various subjects during that time. Although I have not spoken to him in months, I do believe that I can still shed some light on the problems that your partnership has recently endured.
Through conversations with your partner, it became obvious that the problems that developed early on were not due to any outside variables. Most of the problems, from my understanding, had been developing and intensifying for several years prior to any stressors outside the partnership. Then—and please forgive me if I am mistaken on this part as this information was gleaned from your partner—you had thoughts of ending the partnership on more than one occasion, going as far as having several serious discussions with another individual about starting a different partnership. You ended up choosing to remain with your current partner, although you continued to express extreme discontent and disappointment in him, further eroding the partnership.
I know that, since that time, you have begun expressing a deep appreciation for your partner and for the clear benefits your partner brings to you and your operation. Having said that, I wish to express my concern that your appreciation of your partner only developed after he had chosen to look into creating his own establishment. Will your appreciation again fade if you feel your partner no longer has other options available to him? I pray this is not the case.
It is my sincere hope that you and your partner are able to repair your relationship, as I know your organization serves some wonderful clients who count on you both daily. I also know that your partner wishes to mend the partnership, and, for this reason, I fully support the decision. May your partnership be long and successful union.
Sincerely,
The Boogie Man
"At some point in time, a business decision will have to be made. My concern is that business decisions affect people.”
~Michael Clements
Thursday, November 18, 2010
One Man's Trash
"One man's trash is another man's treasure."
Have you ever decided you were going to clean out the clutter in your house? You go on a cleaning spree, going through closet and drawers, filling garbage bags and boxes with odds and ends you know you will never want or need again. You either have a garage sale or give the items to charity. You feel you have accomplished a goal. Right up until you realize that you have just given away something that you needed; and you can't get it back, because someone has found their "treasure."
Now, how many times have you done this with relationships? You chose to either ignore a relationship, because it wasn't needed at the time; or you think you no longer need the relationship, so you let it go. Then, after the person you've ignored walks away, or after someone else discovers your "trash", you realize what you've done.
Sometimes we need to clean out the clutter in our lives, both the physical items and the relationships. But doing so without thought or foresight can lead to more than regret. It can lead to the loss of an amazing treasure that can never be replaced.
"No one should be condemned as trash; even a little stick can serve as a toothpick!”
~Atharva Veda
Have you ever decided you were going to clean out the clutter in your house? You go on a cleaning spree, going through closet and drawers, filling garbage bags and boxes with odds and ends you know you will never want or need again. You either have a garage sale or give the items to charity. You feel you have accomplished a goal. Right up until you realize that you have just given away something that you needed; and you can't get it back, because someone has found their "treasure."
Now, how many times have you done this with relationships? You chose to either ignore a relationship, because it wasn't needed at the time; or you think you no longer need the relationship, so you let it go. Then, after the person you've ignored walks away, or after someone else discovers your "trash", you realize what you've done.
Sometimes we need to clean out the clutter in our lives, both the physical items and the relationships. But doing so without thought or foresight can lead to more than regret. It can lead to the loss of an amazing treasure that can never be replaced.
"No one should be condemned as trash; even a little stick can serve as a toothpick!”
~Atharva Veda
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
The Rest-Rest of the Story
I finally replaced my driver's license today!!! Whoohoo!!! Take that Murphy!
"It's great. I set a goal for myself and I reached it. Now I've got to set a new one and keep on going.”
"It's great. I set a goal for myself and I reached it. Now I've got to set a new one and keep on going.”
~ Janay Yancey
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
And Now the Rest of the Story...
(Thanks Robin for the title idea!)
Off I head to the probate judge's office in order to change my name to the name I've been using for forever. I enter the probate judge's office looking even more like a drowned cat. I explain to the nice lady what I needed to do. She asked for identification. I showed her the copy I had of my driver's license. Unfortunately, it still had an old address on it. BUT, I could walk to the Board of Registrar's office and get my voter registration as proof of identification.
Hi ho, hi ho, it's off to the Registrar's we go! In the rain. Without an umbrella. (By this time, I realized that I was attracting some concerned stares as I had begun giggling to myself.) The clerk at the registrar's office was very kind, and, THANK YOU GOD!, did not ask me for a picture id. I get my notorized copy of my voter registration and troup back to the probate judge's office.
Looking less like a drowned cat and more like death warmed over by this point, the very kind clerk starts laughing and trying to make me feel better. AH! Another positive thinker! By the end of the process where I officially became the person I thought I was for so very long, I was sopping wet and still driver license-less. But I'm only one step away from getting my license. I hope!
“I've learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our dispositions and not on our circumstances.”
~Martha Washington
Off I head to the probate judge's office in order to change my name to the name I've been using for forever. I enter the probate judge's office looking even more like a drowned cat. I explain to the nice lady what I needed to do. She asked for identification. I showed her the copy I had of my driver's license. Unfortunately, it still had an old address on it. BUT, I could walk to the Board of Registrar's office and get my voter registration as proof of identification.
Hi ho, hi ho, it's off to the Registrar's we go! In the rain. Without an umbrella. (By this time, I realized that I was attracting some concerned stares as I had begun giggling to myself.) The clerk at the registrar's office was very kind, and, THANK YOU GOD!, did not ask me for a picture id. I get my notorized copy of my voter registration and troup back to the probate judge's office.
Looking less like a drowned cat and more like death warmed over by this point, the very kind clerk starts laughing and trying to make me feel better. AH! Another positive thinker! By the end of the process where I officially became the person I thought I was for so very long, I was sopping wet and still driver license-less. But I'm only one step away from getting my license. I hope!
“I've learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our dispositions and not on our circumstances.”
~Martha Washington
Monday, November 15, 2010
The Week Murphy's Law Ruled Part II
Every story has an ending. At least that is what I thought. Apparently, with me and my ongoing saga to replace my driver's license, this is not the case.
Today I went back today to the Social Security office, armed with a note from my doctor, my birth certificate and social security card. I only had to wait about 10 minutes before being called back behind "the door." This was a great sign, and, although I was looking a little like a drowned cat after walking through the rain with no umbrella, I felt my luck was changing for the better. HA! I'm so funny!
As the social security lady listened to my tale of whoa, she began examining my many forms of identification. If you've been following this story, you should guess the next part of the plot--the note from my doctor didn't work. It wasn't on letter head. And, no, they will not take a faxed letter. Oh! and by the way, you've been signing your name illegally for the past 13 1/2 years. You MUST use your given first name or legally change your name. See the probate judge's office.
To be continued....
“For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness.”
~Ralph Waldo Emerson
Also, a training update: I walked three miles on Tuesday and Thursday of last week. I walked six miles yesterday. I missed my six mile walk on Saturday, but will do better this week!
Today I went back today to the Social Security office, armed with a note from my doctor, my birth certificate and social security card. I only had to wait about 10 minutes before being called back behind "the door." This was a great sign, and, although I was looking a little like a drowned cat after walking through the rain with no umbrella, I felt my luck was changing for the better. HA! I'm so funny!
As the social security lady listened to my tale of whoa, she began examining my many forms of identification. If you've been following this story, you should guess the next part of the plot--the note from my doctor didn't work. It wasn't on letter head. And, no, they will not take a faxed letter. Oh! and by the way, you've been signing your name illegally for the past 13 1/2 years. You MUST use your given first name or legally change your name. See the probate judge's office.
To be continued....
“For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness.”
~Ralph Waldo Emerson
Also, a training update: I walked three miles on Tuesday and Thursday of last week. I walked six miles yesterday. I missed my six mile walk on Saturday, but will do better this week!
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Emotional Triage
Have you ever been in a busy emergency room? Hopefully not, but if you have, you will recognize the following scenario or one similar.
You enter the emergency room with a large gash on some part of your body. You’ve stopped the bleeding, but you are in a lot of pain. You tell the triage nurse what the problem is, rate your pain from a scale of 1 to 10, and you are told to sit and wait your turn. Now, you may have rated your pain an “8”, but you are holding it together and not screaming your head off. You look over to see who is taken back to see the doctor in front of you. It’s someone who is screaming his or her head off, so you are thinking an arm is missing. Nope, the stomach is hurting. “Okay,” you think to yourself, “it must be appendicitis.” Nope again. You overhear the nurses talking, and it’s actually bad gas. But that person is triaged ahead of you, because he or she rated the pain level as “10.”
Sometimes I feel like we triage people emotionally in the same fashion. Those that appear strong-- those that don’t scream and cry and act as if they will lose their mind at any second-- those are triaged behind the “squeaky wheels.” When individuals who are strong are continuously placed behind others, though, there will be damage. Just as a cut left unattended will leave a nasty scar, emotional needs left unattended will leave nasty emotional scars. And just as some physical scars never stop hurting, the same is case with emotional scars. The difference between the two: With physical scars, you immediately see where a person was damaged; and you can work to provide better care to that person. With an emotional scar, often you can’t see the scar, so better care isn’t provided; and soon, the person you knew is no longer the same. That’s why, no matter what, you have to triage based on the need and not the noise.
You enter the emergency room with a large gash on some part of your body. You’ve stopped the bleeding, but you are in a lot of pain. You tell the triage nurse what the problem is, rate your pain from a scale of 1 to 10, and you are told to sit and wait your turn. Now, you may have rated your pain an “8”, but you are holding it together and not screaming your head off. You look over to see who is taken back to see the doctor in front of you. It’s someone who is screaming his or her head off, so you are thinking an arm is missing. Nope, the stomach is hurting. “Okay,” you think to yourself, “it must be appendicitis.” Nope again. You overhear the nurses talking, and it’s actually bad gas. But that person is triaged ahead of you, because he or she rated the pain level as “10.”
Sometimes I feel like we triage people emotionally in the same fashion. Those that appear strong-- those that don’t scream and cry and act as if they will lose their mind at any second-- those are triaged behind the “squeaky wheels.” When individuals who are strong are continuously placed behind others, though, there will be damage. Just as a cut left unattended will leave a nasty scar, emotional needs left unattended will leave nasty emotional scars. And just as some physical scars never stop hurting, the same is case with emotional scars. The difference between the two: With physical scars, you immediately see where a person was damaged; and you can work to provide better care to that person. With an emotional scar, often you can’t see the scar, so better care isn’t provided; and soon, the person you knew is no longer the same. That’s why, no matter what, you have to triage based on the need and not the noise.
“He jests at scars that never felt a wound”
~William Shakespeare
Friday, November 12, 2010
A Hope, a Wish, a Prayer
I hope that, eventually, my logical self will convince my emotional self of some basic facts.
I wish for the knowledge that will give me peace.
I pray to God that the one I love will find salvation.
I wish for the knowledge that will give me peace.
I pray to God that the one I love will find salvation.
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Old Cards
Although I have yet to reach the level of hoarding to have my own show, I have been known to hang on to items probably longer than I should.
For instance, I recently found three cards from an old boyfriend of mine. Reading them, I was reminded of the love and dreams we once shared. From getting married to building houses, we talked about and believed in all the dreams written in those cards.
Like my boyfriend, those dreams are gone now. But not the love. When I love, that love remains forever--maybe in a different form--but love, nonetheless. In this area, I gladly admit to being a hoarder!
“You may not love me today, tomorrow, or ever, but I will love you until it kills me, and, even then, you'll be in my heart.”
For instance, I recently found three cards from an old boyfriend of mine. Reading them, I was reminded of the love and dreams we once shared. From getting married to building houses, we talked about and believed in all the dreams written in those cards.
Like my boyfriend, those dreams are gone now. But not the love. When I love, that love remains forever--maybe in a different form--but love, nonetheless. In this area, I gladly admit to being a hoarder!
“You may not love me today, tomorrow, or ever, but I will love you until it kills me, and, even then, you'll be in my heart.”
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
True Love
Have you ever noticed how the love shown on movies and television often bares no resemblance to real life love?
In the media, love is always passionate, problems between lovers are resolved by screaming matches followed by a wild night of sex, and the kids always manage to disappear when they need to be gone. Ummm, sure.
My experience with love is, yes, there are times of passion. But, most days, a gentle touch on the back or a
long hug conveys more meaning than fits of rage or wild sex. And, I'm not sure, but I think my kids have a built in conflict detector that compels them to constantly interrupt any argument or making up time.
There's another difference between media love and real life love. With media love, everyone usually ends up happy at the end of the story. With real life love--true love--you are willing to make any sacrifice to make the other person happy. Even if that sacrifice leaves you hurting. For, when you truly love someone, it's only when you know you have done all in your power to make him or her happy do you feel truly content.
In the media, love is always passionate, problems between lovers are resolved by screaming matches followed by a wild night of sex, and the kids always manage to disappear when they need to be gone. Ummm, sure.
My experience with love is, yes, there are times of passion. But, most days, a gentle touch on the back or a
long hug conveys more meaning than fits of rage or wild sex. And, I'm not sure, but I think my kids have a built in conflict detector that compels them to constantly interrupt any argument or making up time.
There's another difference between media love and real life love. With media love, everyone usually ends up happy at the end of the story. With real life love--true love--you are willing to make any sacrifice to make the other person happy. Even if that sacrifice leaves you hurting. For, when you truly love someone, it's only when you know you have done all in your power to make him or her happy do you feel truly content.
“True love doesn't have a happy ending, because true love never ends. Letting go is one way of saying I love you.”
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
A Three Mile Walk, Money Saved, and an Overflowing Toilet
Here's the quick and easy update, as I'm tired and will be crashing shortly.
I was a good girl tonight and completed my three mile walk. Granted, I finished at 9:00 p.m., but I did it.
Prior to the walk, I went to Publix and saved more than I spent. I purchased $21.57 worth of groceries and saved $27.91. Whoohoo!
Now, it was fortuitous that I saved that money as I had to run to Wal-Mart to buy a new plunger after discovering an overflowing toilet. (My old plunger broke during the plunging process.) Please note: Wal-Mart at 9:30 at night is a rather scary place. Fascinating, but scary.
I'm now going to crash.
I was a good girl tonight and completed my three mile walk. Granted, I finished at 9:00 p.m., but I did it.
Prior to the walk, I went to Publix and saved more than I spent. I purchased $21.57 worth of groceries and saved $27.91. Whoohoo!
Now, it was fortuitous that I saved that money as I had to run to Wal-Mart to buy a new plunger after discovering an overflowing toilet. (My old plunger broke during the plunging process.) Please note: Wal-Mart at 9:30 at night is a rather scary place. Fascinating, but scary.
I'm now going to crash.
Night-night. Sleep tight. Don't let the bed bugs bite!
For All My Kids
I had this poem up in my office for years. I think I'll be giving it to all my kids for Christmas.
Listen to the Mustn'ts
Listen to the MUSTN'TS, child,
Listen to the DON'TS
Listen to the SHOULDN'TS
The IMPOSSIBLES, the WON'TS
Listen to the NEVER HAVES
Then listen close to me--
Anything can happen child,
ANYTHING can be.
~ Shel Silverstein
Monday, November 8, 2010
Blaming the Boogie Man
When I was a child, I had a recurring nightmare. In my dream, gorillas would chase me and the Flintstones around the jungle until, eventually, I would fall off a cliff. I hated that dream, and, by proxy, I hated gorillas. My boogie men.
I no longer have the nightmare, and I no longer fear gorillas. But, as an adult, I've had other boogie men in my life. People or situations that scared me or made me feel weak. And, I admit, there were times when I chose to blame the "boogie man" for the different problems in my life.
Here's the reality of the situation, though: No one or nothing can make you feel scared or weak unless you let them. And, if you have problems in your life, most likely the biggest boogie man to blame is staring back at you in the mirror. For, it is ALWAYS your decision as to how to conduct yourself, and you must look at how your behaviors or decisions contributed to a bad situation. If you choose not to do so, but instead, lay the blame for all your worries and troubles at the feet of the "evil one" in your life, you are taking the way of the coward. It takes a courageous person to face one's own shortcomings and to make the effort to change. Only then will the damage created by your inner boogie man begin to heal.
I no longer have the nightmare, and I no longer fear gorillas. But, as an adult, I've had other boogie men in my life. People or situations that scared me or made me feel weak. And, I admit, there were times when I chose to blame the "boogie man" for the different problems in my life.
Here's the reality of the situation, though: No one or nothing can make you feel scared or weak unless you let them. And, if you have problems in your life, most likely the biggest boogie man to blame is staring back at you in the mirror. For, it is ALWAYS your decision as to how to conduct yourself, and you must look at how your behaviors or decisions contributed to a bad situation. If you choose not to do so, but instead, lay the blame for all your worries and troubles at the feet of the "evil one" in your life, you are taking the way of the coward. It takes a courageous person to face one's own shortcomings and to make the effort to change. Only then will the damage created by your inner boogie man begin to heal.
“Face your fears and doubts, and new worlds will open to you.”
~Robert Kiyosaki
Saturday, November 6, 2010
The Week That Murphy's Law Ruled
If everyone will forgive me, I'm just going to hide at my house until the day is over. I'm a bit leery to do anything else.
As I've documented earlier in the week, it's been a bit crazy for me lately. This has included the Catch 22 of not being able to replace my driver's license and the wreck involving my pretty car. Yesterday continued the trend. My schedule for the day required me to have a home visit after hours. This would not have been a problem since the kids were to stay with their daddy that night.
I should have known better. The day's discombobulation began when US Airlines decided to arbitrarily cancel my ex's flight out of Charlotte. This caused my ex to have to divert into Huntsville and arrive back home 6 hours later than he was scheduled. Now, although mildly frustrating for me (and majorly frustrating for my ex), this was not a huge deal. My wonderful babysitter would be able to watch the kids a little late for me.
I then received the call from my other wonderful neighbor. My babysitter was sick with the stomach virus. No problem, though, because wonderful neighbor number two could watch my babies for me until I got home. Whooo! Crisis diverted!
Then I got around to telling my neighbor I would be a bit late. Problem. My neighbor's sister-in-law was coming into town and they had plans. So began my scramble to re-arrange the rest of my day.
Now, here's the bright side to all of this: I didn't have to work late, and re-scheduling is several steps up from a wreck! HA!!! Found the silver lining! Just to be on the safe side, though, I'm still staying home today!
“All of us have bad luck and good luck. The man who persists through the bad luck - who keeps right on going - is the man who is there when the good luck comes - and is ready to receive it.”
~Robert Collier
As I've documented earlier in the week, it's been a bit crazy for me lately. This has included the Catch 22 of not being able to replace my driver's license and the wreck involving my pretty car. Yesterday continued the trend. My schedule for the day required me to have a home visit after hours. This would not have been a problem since the kids were to stay with their daddy that night.
I should have known better. The day's discombobulation began when US Airlines decided to arbitrarily cancel my ex's flight out of Charlotte. This caused my ex to have to divert into Huntsville and arrive back home 6 hours later than he was scheduled. Now, although mildly frustrating for me (and majorly frustrating for my ex), this was not a huge deal. My wonderful babysitter would be able to watch the kids a little late for me.
I then received the call from my other wonderful neighbor. My babysitter was sick with the stomach virus. No problem, though, because wonderful neighbor number two could watch my babies for me until I got home. Whooo! Crisis diverted!
Then I got around to telling my neighbor I would be a bit late. Problem. My neighbor's sister-in-law was coming into town and they had plans. So began my scramble to re-arrange the rest of my day.
Now, here's the bright side to all of this: I didn't have to work late, and re-scheduling is several steps up from a wreck! HA!!! Found the silver lining! Just to be on the safe side, though, I'm still staying home today!
“All of us have bad luck and good luck. The man who persists through the bad luck - who keeps right on going - is the man who is there when the good luck comes - and is ready to receive it.”
~Robert Collier
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Good Morning to Me!
I'm going back to bed and starting today over!
~Ed Furgol
“My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.”
~Ed Furgol
Perfect Thoughts
Never try to top perfection!
“I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it
seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow. I've learned that
you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things:
a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights. I've learned that
regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're
gone from your life. I've learned that making a living is not the same thing as
making a life. I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.
I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both
hands; you need to be able to throw some things back. I've learned that whenever
I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision. I've
learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one. I've learned that
every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or
just a friendly pat on the back. I've learned that I still have a lot to learn.
I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you
did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
~Maya Angelou
“I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it
seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow. I've learned that
you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things:
a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights. I've learned that
regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're
gone from your life. I've learned that making a living is not the same thing as
making a life. I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.
I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both
hands; you need to be able to throw some things back. I've learned that whenever
I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision. I've
learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one. I've learned that
every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or
just a friendly pat on the back. I've learned that I still have a lot to learn.
I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you
did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
~Maya Angelou
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
The Old Man In My Bed
I have to make a confession. I'm sleeping with a 105 year old. He's lost most of his teeth and his breath stinks; he is almost completely blind and deaf; and, although he still has all the hair on his head, most of it is now snow white.
Before anyone accuses me of pulling an Anna Nicole, let me just say this old man has four legs. He's my "first baby", Romeo. A miniature dachshund, I brought Romeo home when he was only four weeks old, after his mother weened him early.
When I was deciding what to name him, I thought Romeo was perfect. Although I was dating my future husband at the time, I wasn't positive how long we would be together. I decided, if I named my dog Romeo, then I would always be guaranteed a little romance in my life. (Yep! I was that cheesy at 22.)
Romeo has been with me now through an engagement, a marriage, two births, four houses, a slew of jobs and a separation. We have shared the influx of various critters into our lives, including other dogs, cats, fish and a lone hamster. I've helped re-hab him back from a broken back which left him partially paralyzed for several weeks. Through thick and thin, through all the changes, we've been together.
Now he's slowly declining in health, and I'm not sure how much longer I will have him with me. I don't want to lose him, as he's been a source of happiness in my life for so long. But I know, if he begins to hurt, and it's only my selfishness keeping him in the pain, I will let him go. I love him too much not to, no matter how much it will break my heart to lose my old man.
“He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.”
Before anyone accuses me of pulling an Anna Nicole, let me just say this old man has four legs. He's my "first baby", Romeo. A miniature dachshund, I brought Romeo home when he was only four weeks old, after his mother weened him early.
When I was deciding what to name him, I thought Romeo was perfect. Although I was dating my future husband at the time, I wasn't positive how long we would be together. I decided, if I named my dog Romeo, then I would always be guaranteed a little romance in my life. (Yep! I was that cheesy at 22.)
Romeo has been with me now through an engagement, a marriage, two births, four houses, a slew of jobs and a separation. We have shared the influx of various critters into our lives, including other dogs, cats, fish and a lone hamster. I've helped re-hab him back from a broken back which left him partially paralyzed for several weeks. Through thick and thin, through all the changes, we've been together.
Now he's slowly declining in health, and I'm not sure how much longer I will have him with me. I don't want to lose him, as he's been a source of happiness in my life for so long. But I know, if he begins to hurt, and it's only my selfishness keeping him in the pain, I will let him go. I love him too much not to, no matter how much it will break my heart to lose my old man.
“He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.”
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Rebellion in the Ranks
I have a rebellion on my hands.
My children have decided that A) school is dumb, and B) they want to be home schooled. Now, most of the time, I can counter the arguments for both A and B with ease. But, there are times when I just have to think...hmmm.
For instance, my son keeps wondering why you have to continue learning the same information from year to year to year. It didn't help his attitude when our 9th grade neighbor and my son began discussing science. Each were learning the same information and had tests on the same vocabulary words. This caused my son to complain that he gets bored and wants to learn new information. How in the world do you argue with that?!
Then there's my daughter. She has launched a more emotion-based attack. She wants to know why we can't all just learn from our parents, "like Adam and Eve taught their children." In this way, she would be able to spend so much more time with me. I rejected the first answer that popped into my head, "Because Adam and Eve's son killed his brother! You would kill your brother, too, if you were home with him every day!" I didn't feel this was exactly the route I should take.
So, I now have a rebellion to quell--lovingly, of course. My first offensive maneuver will be at 0600 hours when I try to get them out of bed to go to school. God (and coffee) be with me!
My children have decided that A) school is dumb, and B) they want to be home schooled. Now, most of the time, I can counter the arguments for both A and B with ease. But, there are times when I just have to think...hmmm.
For instance, my son keeps wondering why you have to continue learning the same information from year to year to year. It didn't help his attitude when our 9th grade neighbor and my son began discussing science. Each were learning the same information and had tests on the same vocabulary words. This caused my son to complain that he gets bored and wants to learn new information. How in the world do you argue with that?!
Then there's my daughter. She has launched a more emotion-based attack. She wants to know why we can't all just learn from our parents, "like Adam and Eve taught their children." In this way, she would be able to spend so much more time with me. I rejected the first answer that popped into my head, "Because Adam and Eve's son killed his brother! You would kill your brother, too, if you were home with him every day!" I didn't feel this was exactly the route I should take.
So, I now have a rebellion to quell--lovingly, of course. My first offensive maneuver will be at 0600 hours when I try to get them out of bed to go to school. God (and coffee) be with me!
We don't need no education
we don't need no thought control
No dark sarcasm in the classroom
Teachers leave the kids alone
Hey teacher leaves the kids alone
All in all its just another brick in the wall
All in all you're just another brick in the wall
~Pink Floyd "Another Brick in the Wall"
Monday, November 1, 2010
Smiles and Pleasantries
There are days when you just have to choose to be positive.Today was one of those days for me.
I needed to get a replacement driver's license, and I decided to do it today. I had previously contacted the State Troopers office and asked what I would need to bring to get the replacement. A certified birth certificate and social security card.
I first went to the bank to take the above mentioned documents out of my safety deposit box. I had to wait for several minutes on two seperate individuals to unlock the vault. A slight inconvenience, but not a huge deal. Smiles and pleasantries were exchanged by all, and I was out of there.
I then went to purchase a Christmas present at Big Lots for my daughter. Since it is an electronic item, I had to purchase it through customer service. Again, not a huge deal, but a bit of an inconvenience as I had to wait for others in front of me trying to do the same. Smiles and pleasantries again exchanged, and I was gone.
I then headed to get my replacement driver's license. I received a pleasant surprise as I entered to find myself next in line. An easy smile moment. My eye test was passed with flying colors. The picture was taken, and it didn't look half bad! All is fantastic. I sit back down to finish the process, and I hear the dreaded words, "Okay, we've got a problem."
Apparently, because my most recent social security card does not have my first name on it, I might be an illegal immigrant or a terrorist who is really good at faking a Southern accent. I'm informed it's not a big deal, though. All I need to do is go to the Social Security office and request a new card with my first name on it. Having a suspicion it wouldn't be as easy as that, I smiled and walked out.
I then went to the Social Security office. (Now, I wish I was talented enough to set this scene, but I'm not. Just think crowded with complainers.) Forty-five minutes after arriving, during a rousing game of peep-pie with the 3 year old sitting next to me, my number is called. Whoohoo! I scamper up, smiling, trying to provide the poor man, put-upon man, with some pleasantness. I tell this nice gentleman my situation, he smiles, looks at my birth certificate and social security card, looks up at me and requests a picture identification.
Huh?! Okay, let's try this again: "I need a new social security card so I can GET a picture id. I lost my license. I just need a piece of paper saying I am who I am." Big smile.
I get a big smile back. "Sorry. Do you have any other form of picture id. No? Okay, have you gone to your doctor lately? Yes? Great, have them write a letter saying you are who you are and bring it back. We can change the name on your card then. OR, you can go to the probate judge and change your name." Deep breathe combined with a look of disbelief, a smile and a "thank you for your help."
I'd fill you in on my experience at the Fed Ex office, but I really think that would be overkill. Let's just say that by the end of this adventure--and a hot fudge sundae--I was not just smiling, I was laughing. How can you not when Murphy's Law has gotten you so completely?
I needed to get a replacement driver's license, and I decided to do it today. I had previously contacted the State Troopers office and asked what I would need to bring to get the replacement. A certified birth certificate and social security card.
I first went to the bank to take the above mentioned documents out of my safety deposit box. I had to wait for several minutes on two seperate individuals to unlock the vault. A slight inconvenience, but not a huge deal. Smiles and pleasantries were exchanged by all, and I was out of there.
I then went to purchase a Christmas present at Big Lots for my daughter. Since it is an electronic item, I had to purchase it through customer service. Again, not a huge deal, but a bit of an inconvenience as I had to wait for others in front of me trying to do the same. Smiles and pleasantries again exchanged, and I was gone.
I then headed to get my replacement driver's license. I received a pleasant surprise as I entered to find myself next in line. An easy smile moment. My eye test was passed with flying colors. The picture was taken, and it didn't look half bad! All is fantastic. I sit back down to finish the process, and I hear the dreaded words, "Okay, we've got a problem."
Apparently, because my most recent social security card does not have my first name on it, I might be an illegal immigrant or a terrorist who is really good at faking a Southern accent. I'm informed it's not a big deal, though. All I need to do is go to the Social Security office and request a new card with my first name on it. Having a suspicion it wouldn't be as easy as that, I smiled and walked out.
I then went to the Social Security office. (Now, I wish I was talented enough to set this scene, but I'm not. Just think crowded with complainers.) Forty-five minutes after arriving, during a rousing game of peep-pie with the 3 year old sitting next to me, my number is called. Whoohoo! I scamper up, smiling, trying to provide the poor man, put-upon man, with some pleasantness. I tell this nice gentleman my situation, he smiles, looks at my birth certificate and social security card, looks up at me and requests a picture identification.
Huh?! Okay, let's try this again: "I need a new social security card so I can GET a picture id. I lost my license. I just need a piece of paper saying I am who I am." Big smile.
I get a big smile back. "Sorry. Do you have any other form of picture id. No? Okay, have you gone to your doctor lately? Yes? Great, have them write a letter saying you are who you are and bring it back. We can change the name on your card then. OR, you can go to the probate judge and change your name." Deep breathe combined with a look of disbelief, a smile and a "thank you for your help."
I'd fill you in on my experience at the Fed Ex office, but I really think that would be overkill. Let's just say that by the end of this adventure--and a hot fudge sundae--I was not just smiling, I was laughing. How can you not when Murphy's Law has gotten you so completely?
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