Needed Faith

Have I not commanded thee? Be strong and of good courage;

be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed; for the Lord thy

God is with thee whithersoever thou goest.

  ~ Joshua 1:9

I'm Melting! Melting!

I always felt that the Wicked Witch of the West got what was coming to her. She was mean and nasty, green and ugly, and overall a really grouchy and unhappy person. But after spending several hours in the Alabama sun watching my daughter cheer and my son play football, I have a new-found sympathy for the woman.

It was hot today. Let me re-phrase that, it was BLISTERING today. Especially since we were sitting on concrete bleachers that felt as if they had been recently transplanted to the stadium from the surface of the sun.

Now, you might want to ask, why in the world were there scrimmage football games held in Alabama in August during the heat of the day?  Instead of, oh, I don't know, say NIGHT TIME? Your guess is as good as mine. All I know is that I will no longer watch the Wicked Witch melt without a sliver of sympathy running through my soul for her.

You cursed brat! Look what you've done! I'm melting! melting! Oh, what a world! What a world! Who would have thought a good little girl like you could destroy my beautiful wickedness? Oooooh, look out! I'm going! Oooooh! Ooooooh!

                                       ~Wicked Witch of the West (The Wizard of Oz)

Murphy, I SO Don't Need You Now

Ah, Murphy. I thought I had escaped your notice, but I was wrong. Maybe it was my arrogant lack of concern for you recently. Maybe it was my distracted demeanor. For whatever reason, you obviously felt the need to make your presence known.

On the day both of my babies start new schools; on the day that one decides to ride the bus instead of having momma walk her in; on the day that the long dreaded middle school years start, this is the day that you would visit my trusty ol' Honda.

Now, granted my CRV has 225,000+ miles on it. Granted I'm not a mechanic and don't have a clue on how to do all the little mechanic tricks to take care of a car's engine. But, may I ask why exactly you felt the need to mess with my coils, my cylinders, my plugs (OH MY!)? Would it not have been enough for you just to have had one of my tires get low or have my battery need replacing? Did we really have to go into the $400+ range in repairs?

I really don't think so, Murphy. I do believe this is what is called "overkill," and I hope you are thoroughly ashamed of yourself!

~ If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong.

Little Prayers

As exciting as recent changes in my life are--watching my children start a new school year, watching ME start a new school year--these changes have led to some serious stress in my life.

School for my kids means new clothes, school supplies and extracurricular activity fees. For me, school means tuition, micro-scheduling my life and a serious case of the nerves. Juxtapose all of that with the "normal" stressors of my life, and it tends to weigh me down. Weighing me down to a point where tears are plentiful and I can feel out of control. That is, until I begin saying my little prayers.

It's amazing how the same amount of stress can seem so much less when I pray my little prayers. Nothing fancy or eloquent or profound. Usually they are one sentence prayers, such as "God give me guidance." or "God, please just let what You want to happen happen." But, with just little prayers, my heavy load gets lighter.

“For no prayer's unanswered and no prayer unheard.”

Something So Trivial

I had to work late tonight. It was our monthly family support meeting with our kids and their foster parents. Watching the different children interact with each other is always an educational experience.

Tonight I watched a friendship nearly implode over a hit with a padded bat-like toy. The hit wasn't intended to hurt. It did. The friend who landed the painful blow hadn't been careful. So, the hurt friend was upset but was willing to forgive.  He felt the need to vent his frustration at his friend's lack of consideration, though, which might have been the end of it if his offending friend had not made the following statement: "Why are you getting so upset over something so trivial?"

WOW! That did it. Although the physical blow had hurt, it was nothing to the emotional blow felt by that kid tonight. "Something so trivial." His friend -- his best friend -- had discounted what he was feeling. Had essentially dismissed him as a person.

Now, do I believe that the other friend understood that was what he was doing? Nope. Do I think the child cared that he had hurt his friend? Yep. But, this young man was feeling some guilt, some frustration, and was feeling more than a little like an animal backed into a corner. And, just like a trapped animal, this child came out fighting for his life--at least his emotional life.

At the end of the day, the friends came to an understanding. A little cool with one another, with more than a little trust lost, but still friends. Both know they could have handled the situation better, but neither were willing to say the other one was in the right. Will their friendship heal? I certainly hope so. But, if nothing else, I hope both of them have learned just how important "trivial" things can be.

“A warrior takes responsibility for his acts, for the most trivial of acts. An average man acts out his thoughts, and never takes responsibility for what he does.”



                                             ~Carlos Castaneda

Letting Go

In my job, one of the hardest thing I have to do is tell my kids that they have to "Let go."

Letting go of pain and hurt and disappointments. Letting go of fantasies of perfect families and perfect selves. Letting go of all the negative which destroys them from the inside out.

It's one of the hardest things to do to tell someone else to "Let go." It's a thousand times harder to take one's own advice. To let go of old dreams that no longer have a chance of coming true. To let go of hope that only causes one to hurt. To let go of plans that lead you down the wrong road.

Letting go is hard. Necessary at times, but hard nonetheless.

“The sudden disappointment of a hope leaves a scar which the ultimate fulfillment of that hope never entirely removes.”



                                      ~Thomas Hardy


“When I stand before thee at the day's end, thou shalt see my scars and know that I had my wounds and also my healing.”



                                     ~Rabindranath Tagore

My Baby

I keep thinking to myself that my baby is getting kinda big, but no big deal. He's still my baby.

Today, when I went to pick up my son's schedule for middle school, I had to question my thought process on this point. My baby is going to middle school. He'll be 12 at the end of the month. He has little girls thinking HE IS CUTE!!! My baby isn't a baby anymore.

So, I am now dealing with a shift in my thought process. I'm not sure how that is going. I think I'll just pretend it isn't happening right now and deal with it more tomorrow. One can only take so much reality in a day!

Son, you outgrew my lap, but never my heart.               
                                            ~Author Unknown