The Dentist

I really like my dentist. Good guy. Personable. Great chair-side manner. Knows me and my kids and is fluent in parentanese. After leaving his office yesterday morning, though, I had to remind myself that I like my dentist.

In all fairness, Dr. David Scott (shameless plug) did a great job as gently as he could. It wasn't his fault that, during stressful times, I clench my teeth in my sleep. Nor was it his fault that this clinching caused my gums to begin receding. And it certainly wasn't his fault that, by receding, my gums left the portion of my teeth not covered in enamel exposed to the elements of the mouth.

All of that is to say I have five cavities. Well, now I have one cavity. Four were filled yesterday morning. And the actual filling of the cavities wasn't that bad. It was the after effects of not being able to feel my tongue, half of my lower lip and half of my face the majority of the day that became annoying. (I had to drink coffee from a straw. That is sad.)  And the injection sites in my mouth were sore, to put it mildly. (Still can't open my jaw completely and not have it twinge a little.)

But, on the bright side, I'm almost done with all things cavity. I have a tax refund coming which will pay for all the drilling and filling. And, last but not least, once my last cavity is filled, I have at least five more months before I have to sit in the dentist's chair again!

If suffering brought wisdom, the dentist’s office would be full of luminous ideas.
                                           ~Mason Cooley

How to Make a Mental Health Professional Gag

10) Put a 40-year-old overweight woman in a skin tight pink camoflage mini-skirt and have her chain smoke cigarettes.

9) Have Charlie Sheen open his mouth.

8)  Have Lindsey Lohan do anything.

7)   Post on Facebook how incredibly wonderful you are.

6)  Hide bottles of urine and bowls of milk in box springs to be found later.

5)  Have a client explain how basic personal hygiene items are unimportant.

4)  Write a fictional blog but present it as factual.

3)  Show Lady Gaga dressed as a condom.

2)  Report on any human participating in a sex act with any animal.

1)  Have a deer suffer with diarrhea while sitting in some one's lap.

Special thanks to Robin for helping me with me with this list!