You can't control how others act. You can control how you react.



Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Phantom Pains

Have you ever heard of phantom pains? This is a phenomenon most often associated with amputees--the person still "feels" pain in the limb that is no longer there.

Sometimes I think phantom pain best describes what hits those who have suffered an emotional loss. Years after losing someone, for whatever reason, a subtle ache and the feeling of something being amiss can arise. It is this pain that can slowly sap one of strength. It is this pain that can cause a person to lay awake at night, not fully asleep yet not fully awake, trying to decide what exactly is wrong. It is this pain that can cause one to dwell on the past when what one should be looking at is the future.

The good new is that emotional phantom pains do eventually subside--at least for a time. And, when they do, the reality of the situation becomes more clear:

"A loss has occurred, and the healing has begun. What's gone is done, but what will be is up to me."

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