Thawing Out

The other day I walked on the dirt road at my mom and dad's place. I enjoyed being outside instead of on a treadmill, and overall had a good walk. It was a wee bit cold, though, and I was sorely under dressed. It took me several hours to completely thaw out and feel warm. During the thawing process, I felt bad--almost as if my body was punishing me for repairing myself.

Sometimes I feel I'm emotionally thawing out. There are days when I become frustrated, because I'm neither numb nor am I pleasantly warm. I'm in the middle, still thawing, still aching. I know eventually I'll be better, and as each day goes by, I see a little bit more of myself and the good that is being accomplished. But, on especially hard days, I catch myself wishing I could have stayed numb.

But, to stay numb would mean to be dead to myself and to those I love. And, like I said, I can see how I'm changing for the better as each day ends. So, I'll keep thawing out--enduring the aches and pains--until I become the woman I'm supposed to be.

Thaw with her gentle persuasion is more powerful than Thor with his hammer. The one melts, the other breaks into pieces.
                                         ~Henry David Thoreau