You can't control how others act. You can control how you react.



Monday, October 18, 2010

What I've Learned from Horror Films

Just getting in the mood ....

Here is what I've picked up from the few horror films I've watched in my life:

10)  Learn basic wilderness survival skills. You never know when an ax murderer will be chasing you through the woods.

9)  If you are passing by said woods and you hear a scream, DO NOT run willy-nilly into the woods without a weapon, a flashlight and a plan. Ax murderers appear to have a high kill rate.

8)  As romantic as it might seem at the time, making out in the back seat of a car near the woods where people have recently disappeared is not a good idea. Remember: Being chopped into itty-bitty pieces is the epitome of unsafe sex.

7)  When someone runs towards you bleeding and screaming, "RUN!!!", do not stand there frozen for 5 to 10 seconds before doing as commanded. The blood should tip you off that going in the opposite direction is a very good idea.

6)  Speaking of blood: It's never a good sign when you shoot, stab or bludgeon someone and they DO NOT bleed. This is seen in most circles as a sign of the un-dead, most of whom are very cranky individuals.

5)  Ouija boards are bad! Stay away!

4)  Don't make fun of the kid with creepy eyes and who can make items levitate. The levitation is usually a clue that they are capable of hurting you and getting away with it.

3)  Little old ladies are not always nice.

2)  If you feel the need to be clean, make sure all doors and windows are locked and barred before taking a 30 second shower.

1)  Watching a horror movie is like eating a chili dog: Lots of fun while you're doing it, not so fun a few hours later as you lie in bed awake!

“There is nothing funny about Halloween. This sarcastic festival reflects, rather, an infernal demand for revenge by children on the adult world.”



                                             ~Jean Baudrillard

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