Aches and Pains

Every time I start a new workout routine, my muscles will eventually start to ache. I can hear them protest, "Why, Christie?! Why do you do this to us?!" But then, after a few days, the dull ache subsides and I can stop carrying around the jumbo size container of Tylenol.

Some pains, though, takes longer to subside, and no amount of medication will make the ache completely go away.

Several years ago I lost a good friend and mentor to pancreatic cancer. Everyone knew my friend was dying, so when her death actually came, I was prepared. What I wasn't prepared for was a moment I had a year later while driving down the road.

Heading home from work, I started looking at the plethra of political signs hanging from power poles and sitting in yards. I noticed that an individual my friend and I knew (and didn't particularly like) was running for local office. I thought at that moment I needed to call my friend and tell her. The overwhelming realization that my friend was gone made me shake and hurt like hell!

My friend was gone. I couldn't call her and talk to her anymore. I couldn't see her or hear her raspy smoker's laugh. I couldn't ask her advice about everything going on at work and at home. She was gone. And I ached.

I've had other losses in my life, either to death or to changes in circumstances. Each has brought their own aches and pains. With some, I've accepted with little question as to why. With others, I've been left with only questions. With all, though, I've learned.

I still ache, though.

“Every human being must find his own way to cope with severe loss, and the only job of a true friend is to facilitate whatever method he chooses”

                                                                       Caleb Carr

I miss you, Sheila!